I watched the Momversation about Childfree by Choice. All things considered, I respect the decision. If having children is not for you, by all means - don't. The general population and your would-be-child are probably better off without you having any. Child abusers - should probably be childfree by choice instead of not being able to deal. That being said, I can understand why you wouldn't want have kids. Not everybody has the patience, the time and some are just too lazy to chase a toddler around. Whatever.
In the Momversation, Heather Armstrong said something about checking out the childfree by choice blogs and my curiosity got the best of me. I found a childree group on BlogHer and started checking out the articles and whatnot. I was appalled at how crazy some of these women are. Not all, I am not by any stretch of the word generalizing the whole of them, but seriously, this was in one of the articles:
"Besides, it's not like you and other parents make having kids look attractive. Your homes smell like dirty diapers and you don't trust anyone to look after your child, so you never go out anywhere without a screaming baby. The only time you are more than 15 miles away from home is for your kid's sports tournament. Any other time seems to be taken up with convincing yourself and others that your children are somehow superior to their children.
Yes, the same child who eats erasers is obviously a gifted writer. The child that smears poo on the wall must be a budding Pollock, and the kid who throws tantrums in public is simply better at expression than most other children.
OK, I won't argue. I know you accidentally got pregnant. But when I asked why you wanted to have a child, you told me it was because you didn't feel complete as a woman."
In the same article:
"I know you're not that happy. I hear the regret when you say, "Sometimes I wonder why I got pregnant," or "Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but. . . ." I sense it when you get quiet sometimes when I talk about my childless life. But you and I both know there's no way to change your trip down the road most-traveled."
Erm. Who the hell gave that woman the right to spew bullshit about how our houses smell or are taken care of, about our choices to take our kids with us instead of dumping them off on someone else. or to assume that we're not 'that happy'? In all my righteous indignation, I have to say: What a jackass.
If more people would get off of their high horses, there wouldn't even be a seperation between parents and childfree by choice women. If this woman were a true friend, she would have been accepting of her friend's choice to have children, delighted to hear how happy you are that Junior's potty training is going well, not condescending and rude.
I have to add that in my opinion, if you're going to bitch about our choices to have children, I'm going to bitch about your right to have sex. Sex is pleasurable, I'm certainly not going to argue about that, but it's the basic act of procreation. If you're not into procreation, don't have sex. The last thing we need is more women lining up to kill babies at abortion clinics because of "accidents".
So here it is - to anyone who has something bad to say about women with kids:
Fuck you - we have our reasons:
